I am procrastinating. I watched three shows of Alias this evening while eating dinner and grading notebooks. A girl needs some fun in her life before diving into grad school HW, right?

I am so overwhelmingly busy that my stomach hurts. I think it’s because I am nervous about my students’ presentation to community members and other teachers Thursday night, I am stressed about a work (interpersonal) situation, I am stressed about our car (not fixed yet), I am stressed about finances (again, mainly due to huge car repair issues), grad school homework, my upcoming race, and all that I have to do in general. And my weeds. And the ants in our living room. And the mess in my office, the tests I have to grade, and the mess in the back room of my classroom. And what people think about me.

There are SO many people’s opinions that I care about–students, parents, coworkers, friends, administrators, classmates, community members and family members,. I’ve always heard that you shouldn’t care about what people think, but I disagree. If I am the only one happy with myself, that’s a waste. I think I should be happy with myself, but I think others should think highly of me, too. The people I think highly of are some of the best people I know, so why shouldn’t I be one of those people? Those people are full of integrity, they are peacemakers, and they are likeable. I want to be that person, but diplomacy comes at a price. It’s called biting one’s tongue off so as not to say what so easily would roll off one’s tongue. I want to be like the few people I know who are amazingly honest, good hearted, and skilled at what they do, all in one package! How hard that is, and what wisdom it requires to be a person like that!!

Now that my heart is somewhat of an open book, I must sign off and work on my homework. I just had to get that off of my chest.