I wrote an essay about headaches in advanced comp in college. Now they cause me to miss at least 2 days of work a year. I figured out that they are non-aura migraines, as I get nausea and not an aura. I also get lightheaded and sweaty sometimes. I feel like most people view this as a “wimpy” reason to stay home, but I disagree. In fact, I missed work again today after missing half of yesterday. I feel better now, but as I told my friend Lesley, I feel like my migraine is lying in wait and that it could pounce on my head any time.
Here’s the essay I wrote in Spring of 2001:
The Great Ache
“They are not respecters of persons. They need no specific reason to strike or any particular time of day to plague a person. Though they don’t come frequently, they are always uninvited. Sometimes the pain can drive me to tears; sometimes the dull ache can last for days. Sometimes the pain is sharp like hundreds of needles permanently lodged in my temples. Other times it is like a vacuum pulling at my eyeballs from inside my skull. Most commonly, the pain originates in my tight neck muscles at the base of my head, and the head-splitting ache worsens as the day progresses. However long they stay and whatever the degree of pain, I sincerely hate headaches.
I had the worst headache I can remember while traveling in Europe this fall. My five-person free-travel group was on a bus for sixteen long hours, traveling from the Isle of Skye to London. There are few options for entertainment when riding a bus at nightemdash;I could talk, write, read, play cards, cross-stitch, or sleep. I started to visit and play a spades game, but my friends soon noticed my grimace and asked what was wrong. I explained that my minor headache from earlier that day turned into a migraine-like throbbing, and they suggested I rest for a while. Using my fleece jacket as a pillow, I leaned my head against the window in an attempt to sleep, but the pain I was experiencing even made sleeping impossible!
To pass the painful time, I tried reading my new Irish poetry book since I couldn’t sleep. When I had read all that Seamus Heaney and W.B. Yeats had to say, I cross-stitched a Christmas ornament for a family member, thinking all the while that my head was going to explode from the pain of my head. I felt like Zeus probably did in the moments before Athena, fully grown and armored, sprang from his forehead. I eventually put away my cross-stitch and stretched out between two seats in another effort to sleep away my headache.
One might wonder why I didn’t just take an Advil or two to relieve my misery. However, my headaches seem invincible. Most people get relief from an Aleve or a couple of Extra-strength Tylenolemdash;after about ten minutes, their world becomes a better place. Unfortunately, pain medication does little to relieve my headaches. They seem to thrive on the Tylenol I take, and then invite themselves to stay with their not-so-gracious host for a couple more days.
I further have animosity towards headaches because they have not one but many potential causes. These may include not drinking enough water, not getting enough sleep, drinking too much caffeine, and having neck or eye strain. Eliminating one cause may be simple, but managing all factors can be a problem (especially for this college student who is taking 20 hours, gets little sleep, and has a new espresso machine!). The odds of preventing a headache are low, especially when considering their unavoidable causes.
For instance, while in Europe I inadvertently inhaled large quantities of second-hand smoke on trains, in restaurants, and in other public places. Cigarette smoke gives me headaches, but I couldn’t readily avoid the smokeemdash;I had to breathe! I never want a headache, but when I am trying to soak in the British museum or enjoy the sights in Paris, the pain is even more unwelcome.
Unpredictable and at times unpreventable, headaches also interfere with my life’s activities. Unlike a sore muscle that only hurts when used, a headache cannot be ignored. I am fully conscious of my headache for the length of time I have it because it overshadows all activities of my life. It is difficult for me to concentrate on activities because of the pain, and often noise and lights bother me. I like to be left alone when I have a headacheemdash;I don’t feel like socializing or even smiling. Headaches also affect my appetite. No matter how hungry I might be, the thought and smell of food nauseates me when I am hurting.
My social life, my appetite, and my obligations are hindered by these despised visitors. Legal medicine does little to relieve my pain, and prevention is sometimes impossible. Since many daily activities are no longer appealing or even possible because of my head-splitting ache, sleeping the headache away seems logical. However, when I most want to escape the pain, I cannot. I lie there staring upward, hoping it will soon pass as I slowly drift away into uncomfortable slumber. ”
