It’s almost 8, but I’m not ready for that yet. I have been working on the same thing all day–a lesson for AP biology–with lots of little distractions (an hour nap, working out, making lunch and breakfast, laundry). Our day started REALLY late (12:30, but really 11:30 to our bodies…). I always get in a bit of a funk on Sundays in anticipation of the next week, and it gets worse when I don’t leave the house all weekend or when I sleep in late (and nap). I feel like I am wasting time or wasting opportunities that the weekend somehow offers. I don’t feel great, so that is making all of this worse.

At least yesterday was productive and the house is (somewhat) clean. Just don’t look in the office. Heh.

Yesterday I started eggplant, mint, basil, tomato, and peppers in those little soil pods. I also turned my compost bin for the first time. I have about 3 inches of soil (yay!) and lots of maggots/fruit flies on top (boo!). I think I need to add more dry leaves or something to it to up the carbon level. Anyway, I can’t wait to get my little garden started again. I see a great Spring Break project coming up.

Time to finish this lesson and get started on something else…

I am staying home pretty much all weekend because a) the weather is “supposed” to be bad–we don’t want to venture over the passes for a hike; b) it’s the end of the month and there’s no extra cash; and c) I have a new semester starting Tuesday and I am ridiculously behind on grading (even though it’s been my life lately).

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I am working on this online bible reading plan to get through the bible in a year. Somehow I like reading it online, and then I thought about getting it emailed to me. However, the site charges $9 a year for the emails, so I guess I need to find another site.

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I finished the Miranda July book, and now I am working on 3 books: Holly Springs, Surprised by Joy, and Omnivore’s Dilemma. I want to get more seriously into reading, hiking, and knitting after my grades are due. Right now those are on hold, like just about everything else (house cleaning, hanging out with friends, etc.).

I am concerned about how stressed I am about work, especially since my visit to the ER last weekend with chest pain and trouble breathing. I still have a dull ache all around my left chest area, but I don’t know what to think about it. I had bloodwork done, and EKG, and a chest xray, but they didn’t find anything (they were worried about clotting). They suggested anxiety and internal bruising from soccer. I don’t know what it is, but it’s still bothering me and I’m worried about playing soccer this Thursday.
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My grad school application is due this Friday. I’m pretty much finished; I just need to print out all of my materials and take in my immunization records and transcripts. I will feel much better about life when all of that is done (as well as my grades).
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Paul, the guy who has lived with us in our garage for the last two years, is in a coma in the hospital. It’s not looking promising that he will get out of it this time. Please keep him, as well as his family and friends in your prayers.

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So that’s the news from around here! I know–it’s all rainbows and butterflies, right? I really am happy–I just have a lot on my mind. That seems to happen as I get older. I want to focus more on the beautiful, positive aspects of life. It’s hard to walk the line between being Eeyore and Pollyanna.

….and it’s easy to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last…”

Last year we got out for Christmas Break on December 15, but this year we drudge on until the 21. Tomorrow is the shortest day of the year, at least in daylight hours, but I think it will be a long one for me, as I will be teaching all 6 classes, finalizing my packing, cleaning the house a bit, completing Christmas cards, and doing all those last-minute right-before-a-vacation household chores. We wake up early Saturday morning to head to the airport to catch our flight to SLC (we’ll end up in frigid Pocatello). The only sanity-saver I have is knowing that I won’t have to go to work for 16 days, and that I will get to spend time with friends and family in the meantime.

Although this trip will be a time of catching up with friends and family, I have calculated that on each day of this break, I must grade 3 senior papers. I also have to grade 30 mitosis labs, 30 photosynthesis labs, 70 biology notebooks, 30 AP Bio Mitosis and Cell communication tests, 30 AP Bio photosynthesis tests, and 70 cell quizzes. As you can tell, I am a bit behind on my grading, as I was out sick for 3 days last week and I simply have not caught up. At least my Christmas shopping is finished, right?

I should go to bed so I can face the last day before break as a well-rested human being!

So we’re in San Francisco for the last night, and our two week trip is almost at an end. Tomorrow we have to wake up early, check out of our hotel, and catch a ferry for Alcatraz and Angel Island. I’m rather tired now after a day that was full of obligations due to our car getting broken into last night. I was rather upset that many of the items that were taken (my journal, bible, knitting materials and knitting books, AP Bio book, etc.) had no “street value” for whoever took them. I did file a police report and we got our back window replaced, so that took most of the day. But I will not dwell on this…we had some fun today, too. We went to the palace of fine arts, Ghiradelli Square, The Cannery, the old pier, and the city hall square. We also went to REI for replacement backpacks right before they closed. Yesterday was a fabulous day, packed with a variety of activities and adventures–Golden Gate Park, Marin Headlands, views of the Golden Gate Bridge, Napa Valley, Twin Peaks, Lincoln Park, and more. It’s time for bed now, but stay posted for photos.

Food poisoning on my birthday….that pretty much ruins one’s day, despite all my well-wishers and the beautiful weather. Let’s just hope it’s no more than a 24-hour bug. Vomiting, a headache, and frequent bathroom trips can interfere with my summer job (teaching in the a.m.), and I can’t miss my first day of teaching.

Blech.

Summer is my one time to get away. Last summer I definitely did that–I had an excellent summer full of adventure on a 2-week road trip, a week-long workshop near Mt. Rainier, and almost two weeks in Hawaii. This summer does not yet have anticipation built into it, and because of that, I am feeling restless. I’ve had my first taste of summer this weekend, and because I didn’t have many plans Sunday, I got that listless, bored, sleepy feeling that I despise so much. don’t get me wrong–there was plenty I could have done, but I just didn’t feel like it–there was no pressure to do anything by a certain time. All I did was read and nap before my friend’s going-away party.

I can see my summer days becoming like that since I am not in grad school and I have no job or definite plans. This troubles me. I want to be someone who can just wake up and take care of chores around the house, read, tend my garden, visit with friends, and more without feeling like that isn’t enough. What I REALLY want to do this summer is take a cheap, hassle-free trip to a developing country–all arranged by someone else–and explore it while helping other people. I want to go to Costa Rica, Peru, Thailand, Kenya–anywhere where they’ll take me! I need something to wake up for each morning, yet I don’t want to have to wake up early EVERY morning. I also don’t want to necessarily be in Seattle all summer.

Why am I so restless? Why can’t I be content to enjoy Seattle’s excellent, tranquil summers? I know I’m afraid of boredom even though there’s so much to do around here. I want to escape here when the chance arises, because once the school year returns, I am tied down again. Grrr….Any solutions?

One of these things is not like the other. I think that a few of these items were related to the headache that led me to sleep from 3:30 p.m. Friday until 7 this morning, but that’s another story. Perhaps it was MSG, the WASL, terrorism tension, or dehydration from soccer. All I know is that it’s the weekend, WASL is over, my headache is gone, and so are my leftovers. And co-rec soccer with Aaron’s company is fun and fast-paced, though tiring. I am sore from playing, but I like being able to break a sweat again! The last organized activity I was in was hip hop dance in January.

So let me back up. I proctored the Math and Science WASL this week from Tuesday to Friday. Monday a search was out on a student who was reported to have a gun. Tuesday morning we had an emergency meeting about it. All week we had new information surrounding the VA Tech shooting and copycat attacks throughout the nation. Thursday we had another emergency meeting with news of a possible bomb threat on a Seattle secondary school, but we were to play it cool and read a vague letter to our class explaining safety measures. News of the threat spread quickly to students and grew out of proportion, making 5th period difficult to control and making Friday’s attendance quite low for the WASL and downright sparse for 6th period.

So…headache indeed. I slept it away and now I am as good as new, although sleepy again (15 minutes shy of midnight!).

…for chocolate.

It all started last Saturday night. Justin and I went to Victrola Coffee for some, well, coffee. However, I had more in mind. Like the Theo chocolate they USED to carry. I can’t believe they stopped stocking it, and I definitely couldn’t get some of their delicious chocolate off of my mind. They have flavors like coconut curry, bread and chocolate, nib brittle, vanilla, and a variety of dark chocolates–not flavors you can get in most places.

The good news is, they are based in Seattle. I thought about ordering online, but with Justin’s latest book order having been stolen, I thought about visiting the factory store. It’s a small building with tours, samples, and a small retail space, but before I go too much into the building, I have to talk about getting there.

I had planned to get there at about 4:30 (30 minutes before it closed) after washing the car. However, with 4 cars in front of me at the car wash and a considerable distance to the location (what I thought was 44th and Phinney), I didn’t get to park until about that time. However, after looking lost and asking the coffee shop down the street where the store was, I found out that it was on 34th instead. I had already parked and walked a couple of blocks.The store closed at 5. I was supposed to pick up Justin at 5 in the U District. I decided to book it down the hill.

The blisters on my feet after walking for 10 or 15 minutes began to throb once I set foot in the store (with 2 minutes to spare). I sampled a few chocolate pieces, glanced around, and, feeling rushed, chose to take home a box with Pearl Jasmine, Burnt Sugar, Scotch, and Ginger-flavored chocolates. If I could do it over again, I would have gotten mint, fig fennel, vanilla, and ivory coast (or perhaps peanut butter or earl grey?). I also got the tried-and-true nib brittle and bread-and-chocolate bars. As I was checking out, I noticed a warm feeling on my heels. I took a peek and my heels were bleeding! Not wanting to keep them open any longer, I limped out of the door and stared at the road ahead of me. I came more than 10 blocks down a hill. It was after 5 and I was late in picking up Justin. I had to trek up the hill quickly with my new-found chocolates (oh, joy!) and my feet on fire.

Next time, I will either order online or park near the building. My feet shall never bleed for chocolate again!

There are some days that, with the sun shining on you in all of its warm, Spring-Break goodness and the Friday freedom settling in, make one dream. The possibilities seem endless. The future seems hopeful. I get restless. I reflect, dream, wish, think, and feel both optimistic and dissatisfied. These days make me wonder whether I am doing what I should be doing. They make me wonder why I watch so many movies and grade so many papers. They make me think about health, spirituality, literacy, creativity, beauty, truth, and justice. They make me want to DO SOMETHING. They make me think that anything is possible. This is one of those days….which leads me to my next point….

Tonight Justin and I saw “My Name is Rachel Corrie,” a play written about the young American woman who lived in Palestine for a few months to help stop the violence there. Although there is much more to this story than the play had time (and intentions) to get to, I was moved by this young lady’s intelligence, joie de vivre, passion, and conviction as portrayed by this play. The play was based off of her letters, e-mails, and journals, so it truly captured her voice, which moved me to want to act.

How does one take action in such a messed-up world? What passion can I pursue? What can I devote my life to that will truly make a difference in the lives of others? I feel like there is a secret menu somewhere with a list of world issues that well-off Americans can peruse, select the issue-of-the day, and comfortably try to make a change with the change left over from their cupholders. What can I really do? I feel like we take the easy way out when we say, “Oh, you ARE making a difference. Think about how many lives you impact each day…yadda yadda yadda.” I don’t feel like we can afford to do that. I want to concentrate my efforts–make them potent, passionate, and intense. I want to see the effects of my actions. Perhaps it is water that is provided for a village. Perhaps the malnourished bodies of infants become plump and healthy again. Perhaps I save a species, eradicate an illness in a village, rebuild a demolished city, help fight global warming, stop child soldier recruitment, or preserve a section of the rainforest. Am I naive to think I could make this much of a difference? What kind of a world would we live in if each one of us had a “pet” issue that we fought for throughout our lives? Most Americans can afford to do this, both time-wise and wealth-wise, but we don’t, and why not? Are we too afraid of what will happen if other countries don’t need aid anymore? Will helping other people threaten our superpower status? Do we just forget what our neighbors in other countries are going through? Do we find it too troubling to think about?

I am feeling incredibly un-incredible right now because I am thinking about how different–how much more passionate and creative–I could be. I am both energized and disheartened by this thought.

This weekend hasn’t been the best one ever, mainly due to one of my ever-so-fun debilitating headaches. I got it early Saturday afternoon and I just can’t shake it. I’ve missed half of film night, most of the Cleveland College Conference, and half of church this morning because I just wanted to lie down in the dark. I REALLY need to get some work done, which is what I’m planning to do now, but really I’d rather just be in bed again. I’ve had plenty of sleep this weekend, so I don’t really need it. I know if I don’t get out of the house this afternoon I’ll go crazy, so we’re going to try to go to a coffee shop and I’m going to try to grade papers this afternoon.

Also, my fairly-new red Motorola RAZR phone that Justin so sweetly surprised me with is not working. At all. So that stinks. If you need to get in touch with me, call my hubby or e-mail me.